Discipleship Beyond Midlife: Discovering God’s Call for the Second Half

In his book Sacred Fire, Ronald Rolheiser poses a hauntingly beautiful question: “Where do we go once the basic questions in our lives have been answered—once we have found a partner, built a career, raised a family, and carved out a place in the world? What’s next?”

His answer is both simple and demanding. We’re called to move beyond self-preoccupation and step into a life of service, maturity, and ultimately, surrender. The second half of life is less about getting our lives together and more about giving our lives away.

That vision resonates deeply with me—and with many of us navigating our 40s, 50s, 60s, and beyond. The first half of life is about building: identity, career, relationships, security. But as Rolheiser suggests, there comes a time when the central task shifts.

We are asked not just to “be,” but to “be for others”. To live generously. To pour out the wisdom, skills, and scars we’ve accumulated.

And this is where a surprising ally enters.

The concept of the "portfolio life," popularized by entrepreneur Justin Welsh. Instead of working a single career for 40 years, Welsh suggests we can live multiple “10-year careers,” each one compounding the lessons of the last. It’s a model that honors experimentation, reinvention, and layering new callings on top of old ones.

When I read that idea alongside Rolheiser’s vision of spiritual maturity, the connections clicked: discipleship, like career, is not a straight line. It’s a portfolio of stages, callings, and contributions. Each decade invites us to ask:

How will I give myself away now? What does this new season ask of me?

Let me break down Rohlheiser’s stages of maturity:

Stage One: Getting Our Lives Together

Rolheiser begins with what he calls “essential discipleship”—the stage of early adulthood. These are the years of asking identity questions:

Who am I? Who will I marry? What kind of work will I do? What place will I call home?

Much of our energy is consumed with survival and self-establishment. There’s nothing wrong with that—it’s part of the human journey. But these years are not the complete story.

Because eventually, the restless question emerges: Now that I’ve built something of a life, what am I supposed to do with it? This question becomes louder in our 40s and beyond.

We often wonder if we’ve been living into someone else’s story. We wonder if all of our ambitions are merely superficial versions of the American Dream. We might even wrestle with shame and guilt by the ways we ignored relationships or spent too much consumed with career pursuits.

All normal things for self aware humans.

Stage Two: Giving Our Lives Away in Our 40s and 50s

By midlife, many of us have achieved some stability. Maybe we’ve advanced in careers, raised kids, purchased homes, or simply found our footing after years of stumbling. Yet this stability often coincides with a new discontent:

Is this all there is?

Rolheiser insists this question isn’t about boredom or failure. It’s the Spirit nudging us into the second great stage—mature discipleship.

Here the invitation is clear.

Your life is built to be given away. Serve others. Live for others. Mature discipleship asks us to move beyond ego, to cultivate gratitude, become a blessing to others, and embody grace.

In our 40s, this may look like mentoring younger colleagues, teaching, or aligning work with purpose.

In our 50s, it may look like launching new ventures, volunteering, or serving in leadership roles not for applause but for impact.

We, by God’s grace, are secure enough in our skin to take all the experiences, skills, networks, wisdom, ups, and downs, and find ways to help others thrive.

This is also where Justin Welsh’s portfolio life dovetails beautifully. The idea that we can live multiple 10-year careers frees us to experiment.

You might step out of a traditional job and build something new. You might turn decades of experience into consulting, writing, or teaching. The point isn’t career success—it’s service.

Your skills and scars are not just for you; they’re for the world. And midlife is the perfect season to invest them generously.

Stage Three: Radical Discipleship in Our 60s and Beyond

Rolheiser identifies a third and final stage, he calls radical discipleship. As we age, the call to service doesn’t end—but it does change. The work becomes less about doing and more about being.

We’re invited to give not just our work but even our aging, fragility, and eventually our death as a final gift to others.

That sounds heavy, but it’s profoundly hopeful. To age faithfully is to become a witness to grace. To suffer with dignity, to remain faithful in illness, to forgive when bitterness would be easier—these are ways of blessing the world.

In Rolheiser’s words, we’re asked to “give our death away” just as much as we gave our life.

For those in their 60s and 70s, this radical discipleship doesn’t mean withdrawal. It might look like sharing wisdom through storytelling, serving on boards, writing memoirs, or becoming spiritual mentors.

It might mean supporting younger leaders or spending more time in prayer and presence for the sake of others. Each act, however small, is part of the portfolio of a life that has been poured out for the benefit of others.

A Portfolio of Service

What ties all these stages together is the shift from me-centered to other-centered. Whether in our 40s, 50s, 60s, or 80s, the question remains:

How can I give my life away now?

New projects will sometimes need to be started. Sometimes it will mean letting go. Perhaps it will mean sitting quietly with those who suffer. Each chapter builds on the last, not erasing it but layering additional dimensions of service.

Think of it as a spiritual portfolio. Early chapters establish identity. Midlife chapters invest experience into new ventures of generosity. Later chapters embody presence, surrender, and blessing.

By the end, what we leave is not a resume but a legacy of love.

Next Steps: Discovering What’s Next

It’s one thing to be inspired by Rolheiser’s vision of mature discipleship, but it’s another to discern how to actually live it. Here are some practical ways to listen for what God has next for you in life, work, relationships, and service:

Create Space for Silence and Prayer

New callings rarely shout; they whisper. Set aside regular time for prayer, journaling, or simply sitting quietly before God.

Ask: What are You stirring in me for this next season?

Take Inventory of Your Gifts and Scars

God often uses what we’ve already been given—skills, experiences, even wounds. Write down the abilities, passions, and life lessons that have shaped you. These are clues to how you might serve others.

Listen to the Needs Around You

Maturity means moving from “What do I want to do?” to “Where am I needed?” Pay attention to the gaps you see in your workplace, community, church, or family.

Often God’s call is hidden in the needs right in front of us.

Experiment with a Portfolio Mindset

Don’t wait for the perfect, once-for-all calling. Try small experiments: volunteer for a ministry, mentor a younger colleague, start a side project, join a local nonprofit. Test what resonates, then lean in further.

Seek Wise Counsel

Invite trusted friends, mentors, or spiritual directors into your discernment. Often, others see possibilities in us we overlook.

Hold It All with Open Hands

Every stage of discipleship, especially radical discipleship, requires surrender. Be willing to release old roles, titles, or identities so you can receive the new thing God wants to do in you and through you.

The portfolio life and Sacred Fire converge on one truth, life is not a single career, a single project, or a single identity. It is a series of chapters, each one inviting us deeper into maturity, generosity, and surrender. To live well means living open-handed, offering back to the world the gifts we’ve received.

So let me leave you with Rolheiser’s question:

“Where do you go once you’ve gotten your life together?”

The answer, in every decade, is the same. You give it away.

-Ryan

*Book mentioned: Sacred Fire

*Justin Welsh: article